Valentine's Day

I stopped for a moment and realized and I was googling how to enjoy singlehood. Feeling so fucking pathetic OTL

It's 6am. Just finished a few games of DotA, lost the last match so I'm not in a particularly good mood. Anyway I'm waiting for breakfast so I thought I'd write something to pass the time. Went grocery shopping for the first time in weeks today and carried home a ton of stuff. Only now I appreciate the luxury of living near a supermarket (like J8-to-RIB kind of near), because carrying all the grocery home for half an hour is a major pain in the ass, especially when you carry milk or soft drinks or cooking oil, all of which I swear I'll only buy from Nanyang Supermarket from now on. A little bit more expensive, but totally worth it. Had two dinners today but me being me, I still got a little hungry after I got home so I decided to to try to make some scrambled eggs. Followed the instructions on a YouTube video featuring Gordon Ramsay and turns out, it was really good advice/instruction. Also my faith in the kitchen's stove has been restored, because it used to take forever to cook my noodles. Anyway I followed his recipe and added a bit of my personal touch, which was diced tomato (a quarter of a tomato for 3 eggs) and dark soy sauce instead of sauce soy for flavouring, which worked wonderfully. Also I didn't know such a thing as "too much butter" existed until I tried my own cooking (yes I absolutely love butter). I must have used up 20% of the block of butter to make the scrambled eggs, and the whole thing was still really runny at the end because the excess butter was literally oozing out of it. Gonna try it again later after I buy some bread and milk hmmm. I'm tempted to try and cook lunch too, if nobody else is using the kitchen. Stir frying beef and noodles shouldn't be too hard Ran out of things to say so I'm just gonna end off here

So I decided to start another blog

Hello there. It's 5:54am as of right now and I can't sleep even though I'm dead tired, and here I am starting a new blog. Did that make sense? It wasn't supposed to. Why did I decide on returning to blogging again? Right, I was doing my usual round of ranting on Twitter and realized they were getting too long for a single tweet, and then I thought to myself, that wouldn't it be nice if I had a blog? Then I remembered I did. Not one, but a few. So I dug up my old blog and was surprised at how lengthy my posts were, especially considering the 140 character limit I'm used to nowadays. I was a never a frequent blogger, I wrote, what, twice a month on average? But whenever I wrote something, it mattered to me a lot, at least at that point in time. Then I remembered how good it felt to just pour out everything into text and post them somewhere. It was a good outlet, and it definitely felt better than, let's say, ranting on Facebook and Twiteter (why I still do it on a daily basis though, is beyond me). I thought of continuing my old blog (which had a meager post count of over 80), but as I read my old blog, I thought that perhaps some things are better left in the past. Maybe partly because I am no longer whom I used to be, and partly because I want to start afresh Speaking of starting afresh (my mind tends to wander, and my blog basically follows my train of thought, so er yeah, expect sudden changes of topic), I really wanted to start anew in college. I'm still considered a freshie, but considering it's already sem2, I don't feel that fresh anymore. Oh right back on topic, I wanted to have a fresh start. On many things. Dance was definitely at the top of the list (or at least somewhere there). I spent almost everyday of the last half a year of my post-A-lvls holidays dancing, and I really wanted to take dance seriously this time around, and have a platform through which I can train and perform regularly, as well as meet people who share the same passion as I do. NUS Dance Blast! seemed like the perfect place to join. I did my best during the audition, felt pretty good about it, and actually got accepted :). It was then that I felt really grateful for my efforts during the half a year before that. The memories of the past auditions kept haunting me and I worked relentlessly to make sure this opportunity wasn't another RJ Street. I have lots of things to say about Blast!, good, and not-so-good (a.k.a rant) things, but I'll save that for another post probably. For now at least, I can safely I'm happy for the opportunity to be a part of Blast!, and that my closest friends that I hand out with on a regular basis are from Blast!, and that I'm grateful for them. Moving on...Chinese freaking New Year. Or Tết as people from my country call it. I hadn't felt anything for it in a long time, or not having the Tết spirit as other people may put it. It's the longest traditional holiday, and it's tied to lots and lots of culture and traditions, and for many people, it's the one event they look forward to in a year (ok I was bluffing that last bit to make it sound more epic, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was true). It's kind of weird seeing almost everyone else so hyped up and happy, and I'm like meh it's just a long weekend. Is it a culture thing? Is it because CNY is tied to fond memories for them, and it is not for me? To be honestly the only thing I actually liked about CNY as a kid (up to the point when i reached 15, after which CNY was non-existent) was the ultra long break, and the ang pao money (the supposed translation for the term feels extremely awkward to me, so I'll use the Singaporean term, ang pao, or red packet in English). I always had to go back to my hometown every year for CNY, which meant no internet, and missing out on every single party or hanging out with my friends, or the comfort of the city in general. So at the risk of sound extremely superficial, uncultured and bitchslap-worthy, I didn't enjoy the family reunion part of CNY. Also I was dragged along to the home of every single relative within walking distance to visit, as per CNY traditions. Now even though they're my relative and I sincerely wish them health and happiness among other things, visiting relatives was a chore, and an unbearably awkward and irritating one at that. I'll be straightforward: I can't remember all the names and faces of people I meet only once or twice a year, relatives or otherwise, and being expected to remember their names and how they are related to you, as well as being able to maintain a normal conversation (which I'm terrible at btw) with them was too much for me. As much as I hate to admit this, I find the whole visiting affair very annoying. There are some uncles and aunts who are closer to my family and I would actually love to visit them and know (not ask, because I can't) how they're doing, I can't feel the same way for the rest of my relatives. I can continue ranting on forever, but yeah basically that was the gist of it. It also has to do with my attitude towards culture and traditions, but that's also another big issue for me, so maaaybe I'll leave that for a separate post. Later on. When I feel like it. It's 6:47am and I just realized I had spent almost an hour typing this, which I personally find amazing, so I guess it's good enough for a first post. Maybe I'll actually continue writing this blog regularly, or maybe it'll just turn into a ranting palace just like my past few blogs. I don't know yet, but we'll see. For now I'm exhausted and I think I'm ready to sleep any moment now, so I'll stop here. Justin, signing off. Oh crap I need to remember to email my mom later, with all the usual happy CNY messages and stuff. I am so screwed. I hope lunch today will be good. Yesterday's wasn't.